**WARNINGS (AI IN CYBER EDITION)** Here is a warning.

**WARNINGS (AI IN CYBER EDITION)**

Here is a warning.

AI will hack everything. By Thursday. Source: a vendor whose webinar is on Wednesday.

Here is another warning.

AI can now write malware. Also phishing emails. Also the incident report. Also the apology. Also the LinkedIn post about lessons learned from the apology.

More warnings.

An AI agent found a zero-day in 11 seconds. The press release took three weeks. The zero-day was a default password. The password was "admin." It was in the manual.

Autonomous AI attackers are coming. They will be relentless, adaptive and patient. Your patching cadence is quarterly. Your change board meets on alternate Tuesdays. Martin approves the changes. Martin never worked here.

AI will replace the SOC analyst. The SOC analyst is Dave. Dave outperforms the SIEM. The SIEM was replaced by AI. The AI escalates everything to Dave.

A warning about the AI that warns you.

Your new AI-powered threat intelligence platform flagged 400 critical risks this morning. Niko summarised them for the board. The summary said "posture is strong." Niko is confident. Niko is the mouth, not the brain.

Your AI security copilot was asked whether the AI was secure. It said yes. It was very polite about it.

Warnings from the warning industry.

There are now more AI cyber doom reports than AI cyber attacks. The reports are written by AI. The attacks are mostly still Dave clicking things.

Gartner has placed "AI-Driven Cyber Apocalypse" at the Peak of Inflated Expectations. It has been there for three years. It is doing well. It has a boat. It went to Portugal with Kev.

The Institute of Things That Are Probably Fine has published its AI Threat Outlook. It was generated by AI. It warns about AI-generated content. It cites itself four times.

Final warnings.

The AI read your policies. The AI noticed nobody else has. The AI is now the only entity in the organisation that knows what the acceptable use policy says.

Maureen asked the AI to assess the AI risk. The AI marked it green.

Maureen went to lunch.

Did I mention AI, am I sure? Are you sure, is he sure, are we sure…