Signal goes Post-Quantum — because nothing screams “relevant” like preparing for an attack

Signal goes Post-Quantum — because nothing screams “relevant” like preparing for an attack vector that doesn’t exist.

It’s a triumph of marketing over mathematics.

A press release wrapped in cryptographic theatre.
A promise that your messages are now safe from the enemies of tomorrow, assuming you survive today’s MFA fatigue and unpatched firewall.

The announcement had the same energy as someone bragging about fitting smoke alarms on the Titanic after hitting the iceberg.

“Post-Quantum” sounds heroic until you remember most breaches still involve someone clicking “Enable Content” on a Word doc titled Payroll_2023_Final_Final.xlsm.

But sure, let’s quantum-proof our DMs while we keep reusing Summer2024! as a password.

It’s the cyber equivalent of buying Kevlar pyjamas for a ghost war — reassuring, expensive, and utterly useless until Schrödinger’s hacker actually opens the box.

Don’t get me wrong — PQC matters. One day, it’ll be critical.
But right now, it’s mostly a status symbol for the paranoid elite — a badge saying, I read Schneier once (Hahahah Bruce Lee), and I’m not like the other apps.

Meanwhile, the average Signal user is sending selfies over Wi-Fi named BT-Guest-1234, while someone in the next café is quietly packet-sniffing their existential crises.

So yes — congratulations, Signal.
You’ve officially quantum-secured the apocalypse.
Now maybe someone could quantum-secure the humans.

Best regards
Scott (PQC Supporting, but not yet) G 👾