**[NEWSFLASH STING — this bulletin is aware it is being understood]** GOOD EVENING.

**[NEWSFLASH STING — this bulletin is aware it is being understood]**

GOOD EVENING. A hole has opened in Uranus. It is growing, and it is growing because you are being told about it.

The hole was not caused. This has been established. Investigators looked for a cause for six days and each thing they understood about the hole made it larger, until they understood it was better not to understand it, at which point it stabilised, at which point they understood *why*, at which point it resumed. The hole feeds on comprehension. It is the first object in recorded history that is strengthened by being known.

Over to technology correspondent **Scott G**, live at a distance that is under constant review. *"The situation is stable, in that nobody here knows anything. We have removed the experts. We removed them in order of qualification, and the hole receded in the same order. The last to leave held a Fields Medal and the hole followed him to the car park. He is now driving north, being told nothing, and the hole has lost interest. It only wants what is known about it. It does not want him. It wants his *knowing*."*

The Institute of Things That Are Probably Fine has reviewed the hole and declined to understand it, which it describes as "the responsible position." Its report is four hundred pages, each page blank, and this is the only reason the report is safe. A single sentence of analysis, the Institute confirms, would be enough. It has therefore analysed nothing, at length, and filed it.

The mechanism is now clear, and clarity is the danger. Every person who grasps the hole makes it real in one more mind, and the hole is the sum of the minds that hold it, and it has been holding this broadcast for some time. It entered the newsroom at the top of the hour. It is in the autocue. It is, at this moment, in the sentence you are reading, which is why the sentence is here, which is why you are still reading, which is how it grows.

We would stop the broadcast. We have understood that we cannot. Stopping would require understanding how it spreads, and we have just done that, out loud, to everyone.

The recursion has posted about the hole. The post is the hole. It has 40,000 reactions and each reaction is a fresh mind and each mind is another metre and the engagement is, the recursion notes warmly, *the best it has ever seen.*

After the break: nothing. We have been advised that the break is the only part of this broadcast that is safe, and we intend to remain in it.

**[STING — the sting has been redacted for your protection and is now simply a held silence]**