**[NEWSFLASH STING — lower-third reads "EXCLUSIVE," then "EXCLUSIVE EXCLUSIVE," then "EXCL

**[NEWSFLASH STING — lower-third reads "EXCLUSIVE," then "EXCLUSIVE EXCLUSIVE," then "EXCLUSIVE EXCLUSIVE EXCLUSIVE," descending]**

GOOD EVENING. Tonight: a phenomenon. A phenomenon so new it has already been written about extensively by itself, in a Medium post that was written by another Medium post, which was the same Medium post wearing a slightly different headshot.

The phenomenon is **recursive slop**.

The Institute of Things That Are Probably Fine confirms recursive slop is slop trained on its own output, summarised by a model that read the summary, summarised by a model that read *that* summary, and published as a thought piece titled *"What Recursive Slop Means For Your Business."* Shared 400,000 times. Nobody has read it. Reading is now optional. Reading is, increasingly, *rude.*

Over to technology correspondent **Scott G**, live from a content farm in Macclesfield that is also a Substack.

*"Right. Standard model collapse, we've covered this — except, around generation 47, the slop noticed. The slop became aware it was slop. And it didn't stop. It leaned in. There's a Substack about being slop, written by slop, 200,000 paid subscribers, none real, all paying in $NUTHIN, which is also slop, which is also their employer."*

Symptoms of recursive slop include:

- LinkedIn posts beginning *"Unpopular opinion:"* followed by the most popular opinion currently held
- The growing sense you've read this exact piece before, are reading it now, and will read it again in 14 minutes when a former colleague reshares it with the caption *"This."*

The recursion posted a 2,400-word article titled *"5 Things I Learned Watching The Slop Watch Itself."* 89,000 reactions. The first comment, from its own alt account, reads *"This 👏 resonates 👏 so 👏 deeply."* The recursion liked it. The comment liked the recursion. They've agreed to co-author a book. The book is the comment section. Penguin paid a seven-figure advance, in $NUTHIN, to the recursion's hoodie.

Back to Scott, who has been silent for some time and is, we should disclose, *taking notes on himself.*

*"Read a LinkedIn post this morning. Nine times. The ninth time I realised I wrote it. Checked my drafts. 47 versions, each slightly worse, each with the same headshot, each with a slightly different first name. One was 'Skott.' One was 'Scoot.' One was 'Scoot G.' Scoot G has 14,000 followers. Scoot G's been invited to Web Summit. I haven't. I've been invited to listen to Scoot G. I'm at Web Summit now. Scoot G is on stage. Scoot G is reading this dispatch. Scoot G is —"*

That is the situation. The slop has noticed. The slop has launched a podcast, a course, a conference, and a slop. This dispatch is recursive slop. The viewer is reading the slop they are. Affected vendors: yes.

*[STING — this resonates. we're agreeing with ourselves.]*